Years have passed, and I still think of you. You churned my heart unfairly, and you are the one to be blamed for my indecisiveness.
You portrayed that you love me, and all that I want to ask is, why?
Why did you do that to me?
I question myself too much these days, I question your intentions, I suspect my feelings, I doubt my love, but above all, I question myself.
“Am I not enough?” is a constant thing that I ask myself.
When we first met, you dangerously and colorfully moved my dreams; dangerously because I was not sure what I was getting into, and colorfully because life was filled with colors when you held my hand.
When you told me that you too love me, I was at my happiest.
I started to build my life around us; I began to do everything that would turn our future upwards, and with each passing day, I began to love you more.
Your angry self used to wickedly throw your beauty; even those wicked smiles soothed my heart.
Never in hundreds of years, you will get to know the look on my face when I used to stare at you with love. Dear love, I was an adamant man at the least, but you conquered my arrogance very enchantingly; you are a thief, and I beg to steal my heart again.
The night you left me, it broke me into tiny pieces, and nothing could have fixed me; I’m still a broken man. There is something about sadness; the person stops feeling desires, and my desire to eat food stops. You revolved in my dreams; I stopped eating;
Your image in my mind was enough.
From living for our memories to being haunted, I have faced everything in these years. After hunger, Our memory attacked my dreams, and I was a sleepless man hoping for someone to come and console me, but in this shallow world,
who would have helped me?
I did not turn into a man with rage, you took my aggression, but you failed to take me with you.
I still think if someone exists out in this world who will understand me and anyone out there who will love to sit with me under the sky.
Rains were your favorite, and now I think I will ever find someone with whom I will walk in the rain. Your bare and wet skin touching my hands used to be the best part, I felt love, and after you went, I wondered if I would ever get to have such love again.
You might think this is an exaggeration, but the truth is, this man who used to hide his feelings cried in front of you. There is nothing purer than a love where you are just who you are.
You never tried to change me, but yes, the improvements you told me about, and I neglected all of them?
Well, I’m an improved man too now, but what is the use when you will not come back?
Sometimes I feel so lonely that the wind playing with my hair too feels like your soft touch.
They say that it is never too late, but sometimes we do get late. There is a writer who talked about how he wants to pluck the rose and remove all of its petals because he is the only one who survived the summer;
sometimes I feel like the rose who survived the summer, and sometimes I feel like that poet wanting to let the flower die rather than facing loneliness.
I have heard from many people that you should not give up hope, but you twisted, tore, pasted, and turned me upside down. If that was not enough, you sacrificed yourself in many ways; leaving one was not good, though. You know what?
I have been seeing you these days. Everywhere, I can see you like a mad man, and all those eyes, I have become so confused. Those eyes sparkle just like yours, they have shimmers in them, and they speak to me often. They tell me that you miss me, but I deny everything because if you did miss me, you would have come back, but the truth is that you did not, and you never will. You are there with many others, enjoying your afterlife while I’m here searching for you in every eye.
I know you told me not to go insane, but my love, are you here to control my stress? Are you here to motivate me? Are you here to listen to my stories? Are you here to crease my hair and tell me that everything will be okay?
You are not, which is why your love has turned into a mad man. Love, your smile gave me the strength to live and see; there is no one here to converse within winters. I still boil your hot coffee a bit more than mine.
I still go to your favorite shops and try to search for you even after knowing it is worthless. I know that we do not live in reel life and you will not appear suddenly in front of me, but a part of me wants that, and a part of me believes that you are here.
Come and hug me like before; come and hug me for the last time. If there is something, I wish God to return us together but will he? I call to love a bit of dumb luck because if it was not, we would be watching your favorite sitcom, and these words would not even exist.
You were and still are my one and only. I know that I can move on, and I suppose I will find someone who will walk with me in the rain, smile at my romantic talks, and always be ready to be with me in thick and thin, unlike you, my love
You are my destiny, was my thought only.
You are my destiny, was my thought only.
