The compilation about heartbreaks
Sometimes I hide, but I don’t feel. The compilation about heartbreaks, love, and friendships holds me so tight that I speak but keep myself sealed. Staring at the black fuzz tells me to run but don’t yell. My insomnia, full of midnight thoughts, wants me to die, but don’t tell.
I am not sure if my hallucinations could differentiate between the sound of a punch or the harsh hit of the rain to the face against concrete.
I just go from one day to the next: Thought which leaves me alone
I’ve got no idea at all I just go from one day to the next drenched under the sky in the day and fearless in the night.
Taking a deep breath and continuity to shuffle my way to a life spent my whole day. I feel like scurrying away to leave that black emptiness that follows me everywhere I go. Every day I doubt my personified mind game which leaves me alone.
I am walking in real
Maybe I am walking in real, but I feel blind and walk aimlessly. Surrounded by the crowd, I felt lost and tired. I’ve got no idea at all.
I’ve got no idea at all I just go from one day to the next with that scary feeling of what would happen the moment even one thing changed.
I wish I could have somebody believe my shaking and numb body could reach out far enough. Every day I feel so pointless and lifeless without any reason to live my life. My demons come back to haunt me daily at midnight, and nobody can save me from them.
Whenever I close my eyes that anxiety scares me
Every time I close my eyes, that anxiety scares me, if it may be for the last time. Every single tear of my eyes yearns for escaping and quietly cries for help.
Maybe I am worthless, second-rate or pitful. It doesn’t matter; no one can stop the pain, not even a single thing. Pills and Alcohol, knives, and guns are like my best friend. They are the different ways to end all of this anxiety and fear.
I’ve got no idea at all I just go from one day to the next by ignoring my demons, but I am a failure again; it’s not working anymore.
My lips have forgotten the genuineness of smiling
My lips have forgotten the genuineness of smiling. A sudden fear torments me if I don’t get any happy ending. The heart doesn’t have the truly adorned features from the longest time. I always knew it would be a long time before something would bring happiness that made me smile.
I want to be the reason for someone’s blue skies, the reason why the moon shines, and the reason why stars stretch to every corner in my comprehensive life.
My past holds me
Every day my past holds me; I don’t want to go back and look in my past and ignore all the cries. But maybe it’s too late to turn around and face that person on the barstool.
I’ve got no idea at all I just go from one day to the next knowing that people have choices, but I even cannot make a decision. Cries on a loved one are all my luck.
I still remember the day when he looked at me with tears in his eyes, grabbed my shoulder, and pulled me in. His lips were near to my ear, and I heard the words, “I’m sorry.” I felt something wet slide along my cheeks. Those tears of mine tasted like ocean salts. My vision got blurred, and I let the tears flow free.
Suddenly the regret of turning around hold me so tightly. All because of the sadness, the blood of my loved one on the barstool torments me. Those tears were a trap, and once again, I was caught in a trap.
I've got no idea at all I just go from one day to the next thinking that the world is my oyster, but it isn't.My past holds me
The frowns are permanently etched into my face
Only the cold and powerful can say that. I am maybe weakfish who is not cold nor powerful. Like unfortunate and weak, the world comes to mind that the world is not my oyster.
The reality isn’t as glamorous, and freedom for me isn’t an option. The frowns are permanently etched into my face. Whenever I tried to open my oyster, it was just empty instead of finding the pearl.
What can my luck expect? A single chance of real happiness? Or a power to do something? I can stop the darkness from entering, I am just feeble and impuissant, and I can’t achieve greatness. I am incapable of going anywhere in my life.
I feel like a useless instrument in the band room, the tuba without the valves, the clarinet without its reed, a violin without its strings, a piano without keys, the flute without its mouthpiece, a saxophone without its flared round bell and a xylophone without its musical bars.
My sleepless nights know that
I’ve got no idea at all I just go from one day to the next knowing that I am the person in the corner who sits awkwardly on a chair and handed with an instrument I can’t play. Just like the dusty, left behind and shoved into a corner.
My sleepless nights know that crying never solved anything, and whimpering never helps. Nor even the god-awful silence that follows. I need to stop hiding under the covers of my bed, and I need to face rejection and pain. I need to face the untamed horrors instantly.
Sometimes fighting with emotions isn’t enough because the fear of falling gets the best of you. I don’t know how to move on. I want to envelop my body in the comforting fabric instead of hiding under the covers.
I’ve got no idea at all I just go from one day to the next without any will to face the fights nor willing to face in the future. I don’t want to fight over destroyed fantasies, and I want to surrender.
I found myself looking older with sadness
Every day I woke up and saw myself gazing at a mirror. I found myself looking older with sadness swimming in my eyes. I see the reflection of my future self, and I don’t like her because she looks lost in the big world of adulthood.
My older self doesn’t seem to notice me, and it’s fine I’m just waiting to see what she does anyway. The more I see myself, the more I feel lonely. What happened to me? Where are my parents, siblings, and friends?
The soul I gaze in the mirror, she is completely and utterly solus. Her heart grows heavy with sadness because it seems that she is forever alone.
I’ve got no idea at all I just go from one day to the next by the beginning to leave my empty house. My breath catches in my throat and driving to the cemetery. The tears blur my vision as I drop a single rose on each tombstone. Everyone in my family is dead, and there is no tomorrow for me.