Living alone is good but we all need someone to hold on

When we are kids Living alone but need someone

This feeling of letting go of everything can make me a man of nothing. I let go of people because I have this habit of living alone which is pretty good and yet boring and lonely, of course. There are experiences because of which we tend to hold ourselves and prefer to be alone.

No one loves to be lonely, everyone wants to be loved even if they are too shy or too extroverted. The need for love does not end if you are a certain kind of person.

When we are kids, we do not understand these concepts because we are so lost in our own world.

Imaginary friends and toys would do for us and if someone joins in, it would be the icing on the cake.

When we are kids, we make friends easily because we do not want to sit on the bench alone, it does not feel convincing to us but as we grow and experience heartbreaks, backstabs, and emotional downhills.

We just tend to be more sensitive and decide to remain confined than be hurt again and again. The urge to love and to be loved never goes away but we just hold our feelings because we fear that we will fail to Austin ourselves this time.

For some of us, these experiences can be very traumatic and our system tells us to stay away from all these things.

Solitude is acceptable but a lonely man can be dangerous to himself and it is not healthy to be “alone” completely but you left me with no choice. 

No one in this world who would love to get hurt again and again

There is no one in this world who would love to get hurt again and again. I gave our relationship so many chances but you were adamant to leave. People stay only when they want to or they just find small things to fight on and leave. After your departure, I ripped many pages of unread love letters and lit them.

I did not have any energy to look back and neither did I try to. Your memories are still here though but at least your face started to fade.
No, it doesn’t matter why you left me nor did you tell me ever. That day when I saw you eating at our favorite place I was stunned about how happy and glowing you looked.

A smile did appear on my face and I realized that I even want someone to love me like that man opposite you.

I do not have any hard feelings for you but you took my courage to fight for me. I don’t look into my eyes, even for dressing up I just go for a glance. There is nothing right in my situation and everything is falling.

It is not that I do not have to fall in love but my hand trembles and my body freezes just at the thought that I will be here alone again trying to be out of love and someone else will sit on the opposite seat forever. 

who would love to get hurt again and again

I spit my coffee with chirping birds

I spit my coffee with chirping birds and when they are not there, I feel uneasy. Think about a human throwing me out of their life; the thought itself is scary.

I did not choose to be alone or live where I have to share my thoughts with myself. It doesn’t get better with time, we just stop feeling things or we feel too much. There is a line between being lonely and being reckless.

We have to drag ourselves to not be reckless, all alone. When you have someone in your life, there is love involved and that is what gives us strength to find and be ourselves.

I have realized that being like this will not do me any good, all the fake smiles I give while talking with other people while feeling dead inside will only kill me more and that is why I took a step forward and started looking into my eyes. It is always going to be tough in the beginning but always worth it.

I realized that I want someone with whom I can go shopping, can dance, can eat my favorite pizza, and hold hands while feeling the warmth of them. I deserve a person who would listen to me and understand my mood swings.

I have realized that being lonely will be good if I will love myself enough to have a partner and even if they leave me, I will still have something inside me reserved just for me. 

When I was at this new cafe the other day, I saw a lady who was quarreling in the most amazing manner. I was watching her from the window but suddenly she came inside the cafe. I thought she was here for refreshment but she was there to serve my refreshment.

She was the owner of that place and after ages, I laughed when she told me that the quarrel was about one of her flower plants being at the line of other shop owners. Meeting people is lovely and who knows what will happen in the future.

I did not approach her for coffee directly but I go there frequently and now, at least I have someone to talk and share my thoughts with. It feels free when you let go of your feelings in a positive manner. 

Living alone is good but we all need someone to hold on…